not given to wine, not quarrelsome, but gentle, peaceable, not fond of money (1 Timothy 3:3).
A pastor is to be a man who is not given to much wine—not one who frequently consumes alcoholic beverages. He must not be quarrelsome—marked by physical aggression, a pugnacious spirit, or a contentious attitude. In contrast, he is to be gentle, showing a willingness to yield personal rights for the sake of peace, fairness, or compassion. He must not be a brawler, and he must not be fond of money, for the love of money is a root of all kinds of wrong and leads men into many harmful temptations (1 Timothy 6:10).
This is not weakness, but true masculinity expressed in righteousness, as he demonstrates strength under control—exercising fairness and wisdom in application rather than rigid adherence to rules or insistence on personal rights. This is the result of an ongoing relationship with the Holy Spirit, who teaches and guides the man to abide in Christ. As a result, he becomes an example to others in his conduct and speech in all righteousness, because he is seeking after and emanating the things of the Spirit, manifesting who he is in Christ.